Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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