was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
