New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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