Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just cropdusted the office
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
