we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Sober January is a disaster.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
No subtext here. People are naked.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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