my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You don't make any sense
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