So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
