I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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