Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
