Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
