I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
