he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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