I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
