He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
