He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
