After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
