my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
