i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
