I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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