are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
