wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Semen is not good for contacts.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
