Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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