we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
