im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I party with great urgency now.
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