I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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