We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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