Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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