When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
