You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
