are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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