did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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