i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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