i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
