we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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