yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
