Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
