so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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