I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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