Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I love you. Go after that dick
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
