You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
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