No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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