New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
