i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
This couple is walking their pig around campus
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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