I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
