I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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