Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
