i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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