Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
