Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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