Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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