at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
