I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
