I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
