Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
